Surrey Old Boys Hockey Club

As dawn broke on a sunny Tuesday in Surrey, 17 tired but happy guys awake and go about their business. Little do those around them realise that these seemingly ordinary guys have in fact been HEROES for the past 4 days and the much anticipated inaugural Surrey Old Boys Tour to Strawberries Hockey Festival in Holland had been completed!

The journey began with the Viking Horde meeting up in their local tavern on Thursday evening to carry out final preparations for the adventure. Odin took charge as flagons were filled and the Dick of The Day attire was given a first courtesy of Mimir despite Aegir doing his best to look as un-manly as possible. The locals were unaware of the epic adventures that were about to befall this particular horde as they sat in the Pews of their chapel. Forseti finally gave the order to depart once the arguments over who had copied who’s travelling costume had been sorted out with a game of 3man.
 
The Longboat was loaded and the war party was on its way. Others searching for the mystical ether had joined us from the valleys of the dragon and soon succumbed to the sweet poems and intoxicating music of Bragi. Our horde was strengthened by the acquiring a number of the welsh travellers.  Hermod provided the required literature as it was his first tour of duty. Across the waters and the land we travelled on what seemed to be a never ending journey. Good moral was maintained with frequent raids to replenish the mead much of which was consumed by the “birthday boy” Thor.
 
After almost 13 hours we arrived at the battle ground and pitched our camp. There was no time to rest though as Heimdall sounded his horn and Tyr led the first recce into the uncharted lands. Everyone was glad to see that Vidar had brought more than just a rather skimpy thong! The fortress of the Dutch was easily located and a full-scale attack was immediately launched. As the horde charged towards it crowds of friendly locals appeared and greeted us with the red tokens and cold beer! Doubts crept into the heads of the adrenaline filled warriors. Perhaps the weapons were not what we should be carrying!
 
The weapons were quickly swapped for trays of beer and gold was exchanged for the tokens that were commonplace at the KHC Strawberries. Ull and Honir disrobed to prove to the locals that the Vikings were going to win the hearts and minds rather than “surprising” and pillaging! We were soon joined by other raiding armies from Ireland, Bournemouth, Bexley, Potters Bar and UEA as well as the Dutch reinforcements from Rotterdam and Amsterdam. Before we knew it we had had our fill and put our heads down for a couple hours of rest.
 
We were awoken in the morning by a fascinating mechanised minstrel and staggered out of the tents into the bright sunshine. The horde was refreshed with the breakfast put on by the hosts before joining all the other raiding armies for a rather entertaining opening ceremony. Njord was characteristically open mouthed as the Dutch damsel led the ceremony. The games were then under way with Freyr showing all what rolling substitutes should really look like. Unfortunate timing of a sudden shark attack resulted in the loss of the first game. Balder was powerless to help as he still was sidelined due to injuries from previous battles. I believe there is a fitting saying – Those that can’t do, manage! Hermod had his first taste of field play and eventually tasted the sweetness of goal scoring.
 
As the day drew to a close the Vikings prepared to pay tribute to the hosts. Dutch food was well represented with Thor, Njord and Magni opting to make Cheese costumes and Odin excelled with Hollandaise Sauce!! Other famous Dutch icons were also represented with Forseti’s working windmill, a rather hairy lady of leisure and no fewer than 3 Ruud Gullits! Unfortunately for Loki, who had done his best to wreck post Apartheid integration, the Flugel had ran out forcing him to drink fizzy sweet wine instead!
 
Sunday came to throw up some surprises in the form of 100 red alarm clocks set to go off simultaneously spread around the campsite and the Vikings not being the no show team, 9 point walkover and our only win as it happens! Correct form was quickly restored with a 7-0 defeat by the 24 manned Dipsomaniacs team. They literally out numbered 2-1 on the field! Other less surprising things also occurred. Honir, Mimir and Ull felt liberated wearing skirts and Aegir’s slightly disturbing photo collection was a topic of discussion. Over the weekend we racked up an impressive 28 points and although more points than 6 of the other teams it earned us 13th place out of the 14 teams. Still that was worth celebrating so the consumption continued. The Bangor girls tried their best to confuse the lot of us by swapping names much to their amusement.
 
Finally it was time to leave. The longboat was loaded once more and the weary travellers headed home hoping their stomachs would remain settled. One final thing required settling though – Who was Man of Tour and Dick of Tour? And what was the best moment of the weekend? As is the form in recent times Honir secured the position of Dick of Tour mainly due to his “Bambi on Ice” performance! Man of Tour was much closer with Forseti, Freyr and Bragi all winning for their determined and consistent performance over the 3 days. (Yes Freyr managed all 3 days despite trying to break himself jumping over a bin!!!)
 
All in all the good name of Surrey Old Boys was proudly introduced on the European scene and all involved had a great time. Hopefully next time the horde will be even larger as the SOBs look to take over another tour near you!
 
VIVA TOUR!